Saturday, September 25, 2010

Semi-deep thoughts with Mitchel-san

I've been thinking a lot lately about, you know, stuff.  And I've realized that I don't actually feel like an adult.  I still feel like that awkward, little, high school girl.  The only difference is that now, I have a kid, and obviously not in high school.  It's even worse when I get around certain people, for example, parents, my BF, my bosses at work, teachers at school, grandparents, certain friends, wow, pretty much looks like everybody.  So, how exactly do you stop feeling like that awkward high school kid?
This is a picture when I was 15/16.  I don't feel any older than I am in this picture:
Sometimes I think I would like to act like an adult, then I look at adults and realize that I REALLY don't want to be like that at all.  Adults really kind of suck.  I mean, sure, there are perks to being an adult, but I think there are more downers than upers.  Who knows, maybe I'm just feeling this way because I'm uber stressed and have to much on my plate at the moment.  Or maybe I feel this way because I feel trapped in a relationship that's going nowhere and weighing me down with a man who trys to control me and tells me I need him to take care of me.  Because without him my life would be in shambles......  Either way, something needs to change, and hopefully within the next couple of months, things will be changing.  I think the first thing that needs to change is my relationship status.  From invovled to single.  I'll just have to wait and see I guess, and while I wait, try to feel a little more like a grown up too.

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